2012 is over

This has not been a kind year. Well, I keep thinking that, but really, overall, it wasn't bad. There was just one really really big downer that kind of put a pall over the whole year.

When I look back over 2012, it will always be the year of George. For the first 8+ months, I spent as much time as I possibly could home with her. It wasn't an overly cold winter but we spent lots of hours huddled on the couch anyway. Summer was pretty hot, though not nearly as hot as 2011. George still cuddled with me fairly often. As she lost weight, I think she preferred the soft couch against her frail bones. Or maybe she knew. I did not travel or have any adventures this summer because I refused to be away from her more than absolutely necessary. And I am SO glad that we had that time together. I tried very hard to appreciate every moment because I knew there wouldn't be a whole lot left. And I was right. The rest of 2012 has been about adjusting to life alone. I found George one week after I graduated from college. I have never been an adult without her, so this fall has been about learning who I am as a non-pet mom. I don't particularly like it! My heart is still healing but eventually a dog will join me in life. I'm not looking for one yet though.

So, as 2012 comes to a close, I can't help but cry and miss my George. But I also look forward to what 2013 might bring. Maybe fewer tears, a new furry one to love, definitely some travel and adventures. As my very wise dad said, "life isn't better or worse, just different". My opinion: some days it sucks. Some days it's not bad. So, yeah, basically, just different.

I also keep thinking back to the year 2002. Ten years ago. In September, I'd had my thyroid out, including the cancer hiding in it. On December 30 (?) we buried my mom's cousin's husband (Cecil) after a short bout with lung cancer. Betty Sue (the cousin) hugged me and said, "I'm so ready for this year to be over. Aren't you?" Or something along those lines.

Yes, yes, yes, I am ready for 2012 to be over. Adios, Farewell, thanks for the memories.